Although I don’t follow any winter Olympics sports, much less figure skating, it’s almost impossible not to come across the infectious joy of Alysa Liu, who won two gold medals in women’s figure skating.
And while she’s received understandable attention for winning gold, what got my attention was a month-old interview she did with 60 Minutes. You can watch the whole piece here (if you’re reading on a mobile device I added the link at the bottom of this email); but I would draw your attention to 11:30 into the 13:00 story, where she says, “I love struggle, actually. It makes me feel alive.”
It resonated with me for a number of reasons. I wish more people were raised to see that it’s OK to struggle. I wish more people embraced struggle instead of avoiding it.
And by struggle I don’t mean suffering.
My understanding is Alysa Liu retired from skating at age 16 and then returned to it at age 20 with a totally different approach. As a young child, her father and coaches controlled everything. But when she came out of retirement, she did it on her own terms, her music, her training, her decisions. She owned it.
That apparently enabled her to feel more enjoyment. So, when I heard her say she enjoyed struggling, I thought, “Wow. More people should feel that way.”
Here’s why: I want you to think of struggle as merely information, not a judgement.
I think a lot of people conflate struggle with failure or not being good enough. But struggle is just information.
Struggle is telling you you’re not stagnating, you’re stretching. You’re not on autopilot, you’re present. You’re not hitting a barrier, you’re pushing the envelope.
I think too many people equate struggle with suffering. The Web is full of “grind culture” dudebros who seem to think it’s macho to suffer. I disagree. Struggle is when YOU chose to do something to challenge yourself to grow in some way, it’s not pain for the sake of it, which would be dumb.
I’m experiencing this myself. As you may recall from previous Warm Current’s I recently decided what my annual running goal is going to be. I’m going to find out how fast I can run a mile in a few months. I’ve already seen that I’m not even close to running as fast as I would like. It’s been a struggle to run pretty hard and find out it’s not very fast. Does that mean I’m not good? No, it’s just information. I’ll share more details on this and how I am facing this struggle.
But hitting a boundary is not a judgement about who you are, it’s not permanent and it’s not failing.
Information is yours to do with as you please. You can reject it (which I submit too many people do these days because they don’t like being uncomfortable), you can learn from it, and you can act on it.
That’s the part that allows you to feel alive like Alysa.
So, if you find yourself struggling, slow down and notice what you feel. Think about it for a bit. Decide what you want to do with that information. Do you feel exhilarated or exhausted? If you’re exhausted, you might be grinding to meet someone else’s standards. If you feel alive, it’s working.
And good luck. I hope we all get an opportunity to feel alive real soon.