Prince William is talking about men’s mental health in the UK. Fortune and the Wall Street Journal are running stories about non-college-educated men dropping out of the workforce. The VA recently released data showing veteran suicide rates hit their highest level since 2018.
I don’t think these are separate stories. They’re connected.
The Fortune piece lays it out: As rents have surged, more men are moving back in with their parents. And once there, many stop working. One in six non-college men now lives with parents. When that happens, they’re 20 percentage points less likely to be in the labor force.
The WSJ adds context: Manufacturing jobs are disappearing. Transportation and warehousing sectors are shedding workers. Healthcare and social assistance – where women outnumber men three to one – is the only sector consistently adding jobs. The number of jobs held by women has increased by 421,000 since the end of 2024. Jobs held by men? Down 1,000.
And the VA data shows what happens at the extreme end: veteran suicide rates climbing to 35.2 per 100,000. Roughly 61% of veterans who died by suicide weren’t receiving VA healthcare in their final year.
Here’s what connects all of this: When men lose their sense of purpose – often tied to work – they isolate. And isolation kills. I know, I’ve been there.
After I experienced a layoff a few years ago, I wondered if my kids would be better off witih my life insurance payout than me. Dark stuff. But I did wonder it for a minute.
I’m not an economist or a mental health professional. I can’t solve the structural problems driving men out of the workforce or fix the housing crisis pricing young men out of independence.
But I can say this: If you’re a man struggling right now, or if you know one, here’s what I hope you’ll do.
Don’t isolate. When you’re unemployed, living at home, feeling like you’ve failed – the instinct is to withdraw. Fight that instinct.
Work isn’t your only source of worth. The economy is shifting away from traditionally “male” jobs. That’s real, and it’s not your fault. But your value isn’t measured by whether the factories are hiring.
Ask for help. Not someday. Now. Call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988). If you’re a veteran, the Veterans Crisis Line is 988, press 1. These aren’t for “when it gets really bad.” They’re for when you need someone to talk to. Period.
Find something to show up for. It doesn’t have to be a job. Volunteer. Join a running group. Coach kids. Go to the gym with someone. Show up somewhere regularly where people expect you. Structure and connection matter.
If you know someone struggling:
Check in directly. Ask: “Are you doing okay? Really?” Be willing to sit with whatever follows. It might be silence. It might be an opportunity to encourage someone to hang in there or even find a path forward.
Invite them into something regular. “Want to run with me Tuesday mornings?” “I’m going to the gym at 6, come with me.” Make it recurring, not one-off.
Don’t wait for them to ask for help. Men don’t ask. We’ve been trained not to. If you’re worried, say so. “I’m worried about you. Let’s talk?”
The manosphere won’t save you, btw.
The online content aimed at struggling men right now is mostly garbage. It’ll tell you to grind harder, optimize more, dominate your space. It’ll offer you a villain to blame – women, immigrants, the system.
That’s just rage farming for their alogrithm.
Real help looks like: connection, purpose, asking for help, showing up for something bigger than yourself.
The economy is changing in ways that are structural and real. But your response to that doesn’t have to be isolation and despair.
Find your people. Show up for something. Ask for help.
I quickly banished the dark thoughts I mentioned above. But it’s not easy for everyone. I hope sharing this will equip one more person with some help.
Resources:
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
- Veterans Crisis Line: 988, press 1
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741