Shortly after posting last week’s newsletter, An Antidote to the Manosphere, I received an email from Common Sense Media with results of a recent survey they did. And the numbers affirm: There’s a real need for Warm Current. If you’re not familiar with Commons Sense Media it’s a non-profit group that provides ratings and reviews of movies, games, TV shows and more. And while I don’t love all the user-generated ratings, I found their movie overviews useful in the past to help me determine whether or not to let my kids see some movies.
The study is called “Boys In the Digital Wild: Online Culture, Identity, and Well-Being.” Common Sense Media (CSM) surveyed 1,000 adolescent boys about how they live and connect online. Here are some top line stats the boys shared:
- 94% use social media or play online games daily
- 60% find influencers “inspirational”
- Three in four boys age 11 to 17 regularly encounter masculinity-related posts about building muscle, making money, fighting, dating and relationships, or weapons
- These posts showed up in two in three boys’ feeds without them searching for it
- Boys who encounter more of these posts are lonelier and less open about their feelings
- Nearly half of boys believe they must follow “unwritten rules” (like not crying or showing fear) to avoid being teased or picked on
There was some good news: the boys surveyed indicated that parents are their first choice for support, and say trusted adults, like teachers and coaches, are also valuable. Here’s why this resonated with me:
I’ve said before that I think a lot of what the algorithm feeds males (of all ages) is pretty toxic. It shows that my “Connect” pillar is so important. Isolation and toxic messaging are a cycle. I believe real-world connections in the running community are a pathway out of that morass. Running is also a way to learn to process discomfort and vulnerability, especially with coaches and teammates who can provide support.
And if you’ve been reading since I started, I’m essentially my own laboratory. This newsletter and my own work on myself are an example of an alternative to “manosphere” content. I don’t have any delusions that Warm Current will reach even a fraction of the audience of popular males in the “manosphere,” but I know I’ve had a positive impact on the kids I’ve coached the last four years. And hopefully this newsletter is a way of expanding that reach.
Besides, the survey says 60% of boys surveyed find influencers “inspirational,” which shows boys are looking for guidance and role models. I just think they’re finding the wrong ones online.
Warm Current is barely two months old, so the impact is yet to be realized. But I’m glad I got started, and I hope the work I’m doing, like working on my own social isolation is helpful.
My asks of you: If there’s a boy in your life, ask them what they’re seeing online. No need for a particular action, just listen with curiosity to keep your channels open. Maybe ask them what they think of what they see. Invite the boys and men in your life to do something social (obviously go running, or maybe grab a coffee). And share Warm Current with someone who might benefit from it. As I’m discovering, growth doesn’t happen in isolation.
If you have other ideas to help boys, or ideas for other posts, please feel free to comment below. And thanks for reading!